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Feature: Games and Films .. But Backwards (SPOILERS)

Right I hope I still have you despite the rather shonky paint escapade you see above you! A good friend of mine shared a blog idea from here: 15 Movies that Can Also Be Watched Backwards. And so I thought I would give my own slant on the idea, mixing in a few games and giving a few films a good bashing along the way! Any more ideas feel free to comment below or tweet them to @Mr_Leithal or @entertain_den!

Mass Effect 3: Commander Shepard successfully travels to planets across the galaxy destroying diplomatic relations whilst the Reapers kindly build up what he has destroyed. The ‘beginning’ of the game is now hailed as a revolution and everyone is happy.

Dead Island: Zombies come back to life as real people and everyone has a party.

Source Code: Jake Glyllenhaal relives a train being fixed repeatedly in someone else’s body, gets fed up and goes to sleep in a military shell.

Southland Tales: The whole film still makes no freaking sense and the Rock still looks confused yet is still awesome in it.

The Little Mermaid: Ariel is warned by the evil queen Ursula not to stay human. She frolics around a bit with Eric, decides its really not for her, becomes a mermaid again and dances with her fish friends.

 

Avatar: Humans fix everything and leave the Navi alone. James Cameron doesn’t earn over $1 billion dollars for a film that is a gimmicky rehash of Pocahontas and brings the real Titanic out of the water for a sequel; somehow Leonardo DiCaprio is starring.

A Christmas Carol: A happy old pensioner who is incredibly generous sees his death, the misery of life and how things used to be far better; moves into depression and becomes a miser.

Rayman Origins: Rayman gives back all the lums he has taken and the monsters he has viciously beaten and ends up exactly where he was at the end of the game..

Bioshock: Jack, the protagonists realizes that Rapture has gone batshit crazy and helps Frank Fontaine return back to his old persona of Atlas. He manages to remove a golf club out of Andrew Ryans head and brainwashes children so they don’t have to see the world around them. Breaks out of Rapture and rebuilds a plane and files home.

The Truman Show: Jim Carrey gets bored of real life and enters his own Big Brother world and lives idyllically for the rest of his life

Star Wars Episodes 1-3

Anakin Skywalker gives up a life as Darth Vader and saves hundreds of children in the temple on Coruscant. He successfully brings a bunch of Sand people back to life, as well as his mother, but still manages to act like a whiny bitch about it. He then does a Benjamin Button and is left on Tatooine in slavery due to his constant bitching. Obi Wan learns to shave whilst mastering a technique of rejoining Sith’s who have been cut In half; Qui Gon Jinn stil rules as he leaves Jar Jar Binks when he can be near to his own people whom hate him.

Puberty Is Strong In This One..

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones lets a set of aliens morph back into obscurity so as not to damage his good name. He chases the Russians off, dumps his pathetic excuse for a son and is humbled that he had an adventure worthy of his name.

Men In Black

Will Smith gets sick of destroying aliens and slowly gives back the memories of the human population so they understand what aliens are. Saves a suicidal alien and joins the LAPD.

The Usual Suspects

Keyser Soze hurts his ankle and hobbles to a police station under an assumed name and tells the investigating officer a story about a group of criminals whom redeem themselves for the good of society.

Hostel

A group of teenagers and businessmen work together to reattach the many body parts that have been cut off in various accidents. All go home happy and no one feels ill at penis dismemberment and it is never described as entertainment. Ever.

King Kong

A huge monkey comes back to life and takes a woman up and down the Empire State building so she can see the sites of New York. After deciding that New York is far too stressful, he allows himself to be restrained and taken back to his island where he brings the dinosaur population back to life.

The Expendables

The 80’s action heroes fear the amount of death and destruction they have wcreated on film and attempt to use their super guns to absorb explosions and bullets out of people. ‘Undead’ count goes up to 500+ and Jason Statham smiles.

Rambo and John Mcclane DONT DO KILLING!

Thanks to Ian Haylock for the forward!

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